Animals / dogs / humor / Rio Guest Blog

Rio the Dachshund Guest Blogging…Again


My mother is currently suffering from this disease she calls writers block. I looked it up in WedMD and nothing showed up. Some “disease” right? At the moment I am in a foul disposition as I have just learned that my parents are purchasing a new fish. If you did not read my mother’s awful tribute blog to the fish that died last week, you can read it here. Luckily for me I have a plan to ‘rid’ our home of this abomination of a pet. As you all know there is only one kind of true pet in the world; dogs. All others are impostors.  If you would like to see my evil plan to rid my home of fish and other mere creatures, follow me on Twitter at; Rio the Dachshund. I will not stop here, I will not yield, there will come a day when my parents manage to sneak a fish into this house…but today is not this day.

I am thinking that if all goes well and my mother gets angry with me at sneaking in posts, I might just start my own blog, become the face of a budding dog treat line, take over the world, all other worlds, and have a statue erected in my honor. If not, I will continue on enjoying my relaxing life of guest blogging, eating bones, sleeping, and snoring.

I would like to take this time to introduce you to a few of my friends:

This is Dexter. He is a six year old Pekingese/Pomeranian with a penchant for international crime. He likes to watch the Animal Planet when he is otherwise unoccupied. He takes his bones solely in the shape of a Cuban Cigar and likes quoting Al Capone.

This is Stuart the six year old right hand man to Dexter. He once snuck Dexter out of jail with nothing but a cat disguise and potent cat nip. The German Shepard guards were not harmed, merely drugged. However most of them failed the drug test the next week and were subsequently let go. On weekends Stuart likes to visit the tropics and sun tan anywhere south of the Equator.

This is Mafalda the two year old dachshund. As the youngest member of the group, she is quite impressionable, and when forced to, will wear costumes of unsightly species i.e. swine. I am closest to her as we both resemble the human delicacy known as bratwurst (hot dogs, weeners, lil smoky’s…), enjoy sun tanning in the nude, and relaxing with a bone.


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