Animals / dogs / humor / Rio Guest Blog

Rio Repremanded

This is so fun mom…lets do this tomorrow. I am having so much fun that I don’t want to do this.

It has come to my attention that my dog has hacked my account and is attempting to murder all other household pets.  For those of you at PETA and any other animal sanctuary/rescue program; please do not be alarmed.  We will take the proper precaution in order to keep the new fish safe.

If space would allow I would probably have three dogs. When I was younger I would look at LL. Bean catalogs and see that hot blonde woman and sexy brunette man, both in plaid, drinking coffee, hanging over their ranch fence with steam erupting from their cups, as horses winey in the distance,  and two golden retrievers sit loyally at  their working boots. Hot right?

I’m in sixth grade, drooling over the muscles of the man whose arms I cannot see. Drooling, not because I am a sexually pent up twelve year old, drooling over how transcendentally bonerish this scene is. Wanting a rugged yet rich existence where I can afford LL. Bean clothes from head to toe, own two dogs, have a man, horses, and a three story ranch house made all of wood.  When the winter would come, I would shuffle to the living room where the hand carved fireplace sits, made by the sexy brunette man who I can only assume is my rich husband.

Rio is looking at me right now with her, “get a grip” eyes.  I look at her and say, like you’ve never day dreamed.” She looks back at me and with her beady little eyes and says, “yeah but I don’t look x-rated when I do it.”

AS punishment I will now injure her ego by taking a series of unflattering photographs of Rio.

Does this fur make me look fat?

I am my own Siamese twin.

Look out I’m rapidly evolving…anteater/dachshund


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