As I mentioned earlier in this post I was forced to fly home in an empty tuna can. I think I jinxed myself because I almost died. I think a Jack Russel was actually flying the plane because 1) We almost died, and 2) We almost died. The beverage cart was suspended, which as I mentioned in above mentioned post, I need my complimentary class of wine because 1) The flight is scary, and 2) We almost died.
I was three breathes short of hyperventilating as the girl in the seat next to me was three mouthfuls away from throwing up. The flight attendants stayed seated for the duration of the flight due to heavy turbulence, and we never once heard from the pilot, another reason why he/she might have actually been a dog.
But I am none the less alive, and will from now on not write about flying in the hopes of avoiding another strange cosmic literary premonition.