This Christmas I am thankful for Rio. I am thankful for the other two weiner dogs, Stuart and Mafalda, who are currently whining because they have been quarantined in the basement with me. I am thankful for the grumpy the pekingese pomeranian who is a crotchety old man, but a cute crotchety old man. I am thankful for health, ten fingers, 12 toes, (kidding, I have ten) and my nephew upstairs who is learning to be kind and gentle to dogs. I am thankful for the two dachshunds, (stuart and mafalda) who are okay with having their heads drooled upon, collars yanked, and ears pulled by said nephew.
I am thankful for my parents who are taking me out shopping tomorrow for a new phone (thank you baby Jesus, or insert whichever character of religion, mythology or make-believe you deem politically correct.) I am thankful that with each year I make more money, so I can give my parents nicer/more/nice&more gifts and begin to repay them for the years of mayhem that my sister, and I, but mostly me created.
P.S. Mom, you looked hot in that stunning necklace from that one favorite daughter of yours:)
I am thankful for many other things, but in an attempt to keep this short as my glass of wine has run dry, and my quarantine in the basement has ceased, I am thankful for all of you too:)
Am I missing anything?
Nope! (Zach, this is where you go “what?” and throw a fit because you know I am forgetting you.)
Zach, you are my weird best friend and I would smile a lot less if I couldn’t be weird right back with you:)
Merry Christmas everyone, (or insert whichever holiday, mythology or make-believe you deem politically correct and or celebrate.)